I can't tell which is worse!

I can't tell which tattoo is worse! Is it this unicorn with a broken/ jello neck?



... or these little scratchy buddies? They are both so bad!

National Elv

Another classic Elvgren peice from Tim Harris.

CATBEAR?!

aaaaarrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
It's a cat! With shark teeth! Or maybe it's a bear?

MUFFIN MAN

If anyone has any idea what the story behind these tattoos is, I would LOVE to know!

My favorite thing in the entire world!

Zombie Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Ryan, your tattoo is truly amazing!

Click here for more amazing zombie jesus tattoos

Cowboygirl up!

This gem was submitted by a reader. It's actually not that bad... technically it's good, and I get the funny "cowboy up" twist on phrasing. The floating hat is a little weird, but I've seen a million worse tattoos. It did get me into searching for some cowboy tattoos though, and look what I found!



Same artist or inspiration? I kind of like it...

However, there are some truly terrible cowboy tattoos out there, which I am happy to share with you.


I love his tiny feet! They're so dainty!


This poor cowboy only has one foot.


And this is from the anime series Cowboy Bebop, so it's a different kind of cowboy... but it's so terrible I had to share.

Eye know you got a bad tattoo

This gem was sent to me by a reader. Thanks! I love the "painterly" style.




If anyone knows what's going on here, please let me know!





And this one... yeesh! It has everything! Spraypaint, tears, a rose, eyes... I wonder what the sad story behind it is.

Death Metal Tattoos: part 2

I wish I knew what this was, I really do. It looks like a totem pole of demons? With some kind of weird scarred-out blob in the middle. Is it a tribal-mutant batman logo? AND DO YOU SEE THE SCRATCHED UP FETUS ON HIS ELBOW? I mean really, how could you miss that? I don't even know what the stuff on his forearm is. If anyone can help decipher this, please let me know! I was staring at this guy for ages trying to figure it out.

I wish I knew what was on his back, too. You can see a bit of it poking out. I bet it's incredible.

Death Metal Tattoos: part 1

I went to the Maryland Deathfest this past weekend and OH BOY did I see so many amazing metal tattoos! One million distorted zombies! Ten thousand blurry black and white messes of somethingorother! A good handful of band logos! I have a LOT to share with you guys, but let me start with this gem (perhaps the best of the bunch):

THAT GIRL IS TRUE. EVIL. I love the fancy flourishes added to each word, it really rubs in the brutality of her tattoo.

Tune in soon for more!

Now THIS is what a zombie should look like!

I got a spur-of-the-moment zombie tattoo last week from Alex at Three Kings in Brooklyn. If you've seen my millions of bad zombie tattoo posts, you know that a good, gory zombie is hard to come by. And I got one!!!!

Because it was a TOTAL impulse tattoo (I just dropped by the shop to hang out and watch my friend Myles tattoo my friend Josh for a couple minutes and ended up getting tattooed myself!) I didn't know where the image was from. It was just something AWESOME that Alex had drawn up (he had a bunch of drawings for their Friday the 13th Zombie day that were too involved for the $40 zombie deal they had going). Turns out it is from this obscure comic that not one, but TWO of my friends knew about!

In other new tattoo news, I also got my other crow filled in. They're by Myles, also at Three Kings.

I'm so stoked on them! They look great.

I'll post some legitimately bad tattoos soon, I promise. I just wanted to share these awesome ones because I am so excited about them.

scary-guy-1.jpg

I think the title says it all, really. This is a truly scary guy.

Straightedge Toast Tattoos

This guy maybe has my favorite bad tattoos of all time. Ever. Period.
Possibly because I have a real soft spot for straight edge tattoos and punk/hc tattoos, possibly because they are just hilarious.




Description from the horse's mouth below:

All my friends have toast tattoos, because when you're poor and dumpster for your food bread is always readily available - it's this thing that kinda unifies us at this point in our lives. The Earth Crisis theme came about when some silly hardline XVX kids were staying at this punk house and talking about how belittling a band with serious issues is a bad thing, and how EC was cool and really helped push ideas into hardcore, and then they started insulting the people who lived at that house by degrading them and saying they had bad views, even making someone get near the verge of crying because she ate sparingly fish.

I realized that the lyrics for the beginning of Firestorm worked really well with toast (the original lyrics for those who don't know are "Street by street/block by block/taking it all back", referring to cleansing a neighborhood of drug dealers.) I went and got the tattoo done in an hour, showed them, and started drinking and eating cheese for the rest of the night (even though I was vegan at the time.) They stopped talking to me, and left shortly after.

I'm going to be getting a tattoo really soon that is based off of the anarchist atheist saying "No Gods, No Masters", but its gonna say "Dogs, No Masters" and have a kennel on fire and someone holding a leash with his brains blown out, and upside down crosses made of milk bones. I didn't think up that saying, though

More amazing back pieces

What happened to this angel's feet? Don't they look just like stumps? Also why is one angel stomping the other one's head? I think I see some horns on the bottom angel there, so maybe it's Lucifer being shown what's up.
Let me show you a wonderful trio of ridiculous back tattoos:

Now I know that this photo was taken mid-scabby-stage so I won't be *too* harsh about the quality of the tattooing here, because it's really hard to tell. HOWEVER, it's impossible to tell what's going on! I do see some flaming dice, and a '3', but what are the weird globby things on each shoulder? They look like rotting lettuce.

Okay, now this one just confuses me. I am under the assumption that it's not finished. The triangle thing on the left is one of the worst tattoos I've seen, but seems like a pretty explainable bad tattoo to get. The Japanese guy on the right is not actually that bad, and obviously isn't done yet. What REALLY baffles me though, is what is on the bottom. It looks like a scratched on sunbathing girl at the beach! IT CAN'T BE SO! sdlkfjslfjs! Amazing.

More stick-n-poke radness

Do you remember the post I did about the young man with the butterflies on his feet and the ridiculous home tattoos? Well, he showed me some photos of his friend's tattoos. And boy, are they ridiculous!

First up- booyah! arm!

This poor person has "booyah!" on their arm not once, but at least SEVEN TIMES! I can also see a pterodactyl, a ghost, and "USA GOES UNDEFEATED".


I wish I knew the story behind this one. "Saves Latin"??? ... maybe I don't really want to know.


And this. What is this? An alien-insect with patriotic wings riding a scooter with hello kitty with a mustache in the back? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

Seriously, the more I see tattoos like this, the more I shake my head and start to wonder if they are really works of genius instead of being the worst tattoos in the world.

Bad chest tattoos

I think there is a trend of getting bad chest tattoos with bloody writing. Please tell me this isn't so, and it's just these three unfortunate dudes.

"All Hope Is Gone" -- not a very good thing to get when you're young (I cropped his face out of the photo, he looks like he is 17). Also what's the logo on the right? I assume these are bad lyrics of some sort.

"Blood Is Forever" -- I guess this is a way of celebrating family, but there is surely a much better way to do it. Also the bloody cracked Batman logo is an a+ addition there, buddy.

"Pull The Trigger Bitch" -- sdkjfhsdk I can seriously not think of a worse thing to get tattooed on your chest for all time. Do you think he will ever have sex with anyone ever again? I guess he'll just have to keep his shirt on indefinitely!

A PSA against home tattooing

I've posted some awesomely ridiculously terrible and rad stick-n-poke tattoos here in the past, and I will again. I have a soft spot for bad tattoos that friends do to each other. This one, however, is pretty inexcusable, and shows how home tattooing is generally a really really really really bad idea.

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow. This makes me hurt all over just looking at it. So scratchy!!!! I can't even imagine what it must look like healed. I think my favorite part is that he only has one eyeball.

More Zombies

Please excuse me for posting about my own tattoos so much this week, but I can't help myself! I'll post some legitimately terrible tattoos soon, don't worry!

You guys should all know by now that I am fascinated by flash tattoos and tattoos that come from the same drawing but look different. The tattoo I got on Friday was part of a Friday the 13th special, where you could get any flash zombie on a sheet for $40. I chose the classic coming-out-of-the-grave-zombie, and it turns out three of my friends went for the same thing. One of my friends and I got sxe zombies, my other two friends got the zombie as he was on the sheet. Here are all four zombies for comparison (done by three different artists, see if you can spot the two that were done by the same person).

crows

I just got my thighs done. These are beyond awesome. Only the linework is done so far, but I'll get them finished next month. Done by the ever-awesome Myles Karr at Saved in Brooklyn, NY.

the placement is great

sxe god free zombie

So I finally did it. I finally got brainwashed by my bad tattoo blog and got a bad tattoo. AND I LOVE IT!

He is a straight edge god free zombie, in honor of Friday the 13th. I love him because he's just like all the rad old metal zombies that I looooooove and simultaneously make fun of on here. Done by Alex at Three Kings in Brooklyn, NY (who is an amazing tattoo artist, please do not for one second think that I am saying his work is bad!).

Hugs

... I really have no words. This guy got a disembodied arm tattooed on him. Amazing.

More amazing wizards (dragon edition)

I'm seriously obsessed with wizard tattoos. Sorry if you guys are getting sick of them! Here are a bunch with their dragon buddies.

It looks like he's about to pitch all the magic onto his hand that's holding the orb, whereupon it will smash into one million pieces and doom the dragon to an eternity underground without his friends or family.


This dude is NOT HAPPY about the dragon's fiery flames. Not one bit.

Since when are wizards 100x bigger than dragons? I like the lightning bolts though.

"Alright, I want a dungeon. A deep, dark, scary dungeon, with a DRAGON and a huge SPIDER, and a lizard, and cobwebs, and an EVIL PLOTTING WIZARD with another dragon on his shoulder, and a CUTE BLUEBIRD and a HEART with a banner with my girlfriend's name on it and a bunch of FLAMES on the other side and some smoke all around everything. Okay?"